A Short Meditation On Marriage

In Genesis 2:18, 21-25 the institution of marriage, the earliest of institutions, is ordained by God…

“Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him…' So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Marriage is an institution ordained by God, where he gave the first bride away, where one man and one woman leave their parents and cleave to one another. This is a relationship that is closer than that of child and parent, a relationship that is unique and special as God is the one who puts it together forming a new one-flesh union. This relationship might take only a short time to begin, but a lifetime to perfect.

Marriage is under assault and it has become disposable--forget perfecting it just throw it away and start over, like anything else in some modern cultures. Disposable cups, disposable computers, disposable car, and disposable couples have become the norm. Yet marriage for the Christian is not disposable, it is not something that can be thrown away.

If marriage were founded upon looks, when looks fade away then it would be disposable. If marriage were founded upon feelings, when feelings fade away then it would be disposable. If marriage were founded upon mutual interest, when mutual interests are no longer mutual it would then be disposable.

However, praise God that marriage is not founded upon these things or even for these things. First and foremost marriage is the doing of God. We just read about God instituting marriage in Gen 2 and in Mark 10:6-9 we read more clearly how marriage is God’s doing:

“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made then male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.”

As we read that it is God’s doing we know then that it must be founded upon God. In the last phrase of the passage it is also clear that this is not something that man should separate. In other words divorce is not an option. Ultimately marriage exists to display the covenant keeping love between Christ and his church. What holds a marriage together is that it is rooted in a covenant commitment, it is not about staying in love, it is about keeping covenant.

The marriage covenant of a one flesh union between one man and one woman leaving parents and holding fast to a wife is meant to display the new covenant—Like Christ leaving his father and taking the church as his bride at the cost of his life, and holding fast to her is a one spirit union forever.

Ephesians 5:31-32 is another passage that grants insight into the profound mystery of marriage—“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Essentially the marital union is supposed to be a reflection of the gospel of Jesus Christ. For those who have faith in Jesus to forgive and cleanse their sins, and have experienced his grace and forgiveness, it is imperative in their marital relationships for them to take the daily opportunity to display Christ’s covenant keeping faithfulness. This is accomplished by taking the grace and forgiveness of sins that has been given to the individual and extending it in return their spouse. The same grace by which God shows his love for his bride, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. The same grace that is has manifested the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe, because everyone has sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. And for those who believe in Jesus they are made right before God by his grace through Jesus Christ.

Conducting relationships according to the gospel should be evident in every relationship that a Christian enters into, yet the gospel magnified in the bonds of marriage. It is not easy, or cut and dry, as many complex situations arise for which gospel wisdom is be needed. The solid basis for a marriage is the grace of God since Christ obtained and sustains his bride by grace alone.

In Ephesians 5:22-25 instructions are given to husbands and wives concerning living according to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

“Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Now when we read this it gives us clear instructions regarding how to conduct marital relationships according to the gospel. When the wife is being sinned against she can by God’s grace take the opportunity to respect her husband, submitting to him with kindness, forbearance, and patience as unto the Lord, even though he is undeserving. Just as the kindness, forbearance, and patience of God is meat to lead people to repentance, your extension of grace may do the same.

And when the husband is being sinned against he too has the opportunity to display love and kindness, as she does not deserve, just as Christ loves and died for his bride while we were his enemies. The husband is to love her as Christ loves the church, which is a most difficult task. Thank God that thought he has given the impossible task to love her, he has also provided the grace, so that by his grace both husband and wife may keep covenant like Christ.

Building a marriage on the foundation of faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to fulfill the purpose of marriage as God intends. Wives must aim for active, intelligent, joyful submission to their husband’s authority. Husbands must aim for loving, considerate and thoughtful leadership in their family.

In the end, seeking to display the relationship between Christ and the church will be a display of genuine biblical love. Love that the gospel expresses, love that is accomplished by the grace of God alone. Love that is patient and kind; love that does not envy or boast; that is not arrogant or rude, love that does not insist upon its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.